Sunday, April 19, 2015

# 1 JINXED


1 EXT. OUTBACK AUSTRALIA. LATE AFTERNOON

Pre Credit Sequence

A red dirt road cuts through a vast dry landscape under an impossibly blue sky.

Graphic: THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, 6.18 PM, 26TH JAN 1998

Tracking from above, a bright yellow car kicks up a rooster’s tail of dust as it speeds towards the sun - low in the sky. The car has a small red satellite dish clamped its roof.

A large Prentie (lizard) sitting in red desert sand, watches the yellow sedan screech to a halt in a cloud of dust.

The passenger door opens and JOSIE, 19, sporting short pink hair, is forcefully ejected from the sedan into the red dust.  She shouts to the unseen driver in an English accent

JOSIE
Venus! What the…!

JOSIE leaps to her feet, watches in horror as the yellow sedan speeds off towards the setting sun.

JOSIE is wearing a tattered pale blue t-shirt with PARTY ANIMAL written on it. Wet sticky dark blue patches cover her bra-free breasts. She carries a small backpack.

50 meters up the road the passenger door of the yellow sedan opens. A red suitcase is pushed out. It hits the road; bursts open. Bright coloured garments fly everywhere.

JOSIE
No!

JOSIE runs up the road towards her red suitcase. As she does so she sees, further up the road, a black object thrown from the driver’s window of the retreating yellow sedan.

JOSIE arrives at her suitcase – the colourful clothes it contained scattered alongside the road. She looks at them, distressed, for a moment, then runs towards the black object.

50 meters up the road JOSIE approaches the black carry bag lying in the red dust. 

As JOSIE picks up the black carry bag she catches sight of something moving in the red dirt several feet from her:

A small snake slithering away from her.

She lets out a terrified scream and runs further up the road, looking back over her shoulder as if expecting the snake to be chasing her.

JOSIE, wide eyed with fear, stands in the middle of the road, holding the black carry bag at shoulder height in case she needs it to fight off a snake attack.

She looks up and down the road. Nothing but low desert scrub in every direction.
The sound of Mendelssohn’s Wedding March intrudes. JOSIE reacts with shock.

JOSIE
What the…!?

She looks around for the source of the sound - puzzled, confused; disoriented.

It takes her a while to realize that the music is coming from the black carry bag.
She opens it tentatively, looks inside; reacts with shock.

JOSIE
Holy fucking moley!

She extracts a 7 inch cylindrical pink object that could easily mistaken for a sex aid.

(NOTE: This is a PG film, dear Reader; fear not!)

She examines it, tries to figure where the music is coming from, locates a key pad, realizes it is a mobile phone; presses the ‘answer’ icon. It is a bad line.

JOSIE
Hello!

TERENCE’S VOICE
OK, OK, you win, Venus!

The line is breaking up.

JOSIE
Sorry, this is Venus’ phone but I’m not Venus. I’m Josie..

TERENCE’S VOICE
Didn’t catch that, sweetheart, but I’ve got five grand waiting for you in Sydney and I’ve lined up...

The line breaks up again.

JOSIE
... Hello... hello…

The line is dead. JOSIE exclaims.

JOSIE
Five grand!

A lizard runs across the road, close to her. JOSIE screams, drops the pink mobile phone, runs up the road.

The shot crash zooms upwards revealing JOSIE an increasingly tiny figure in a vast desert landscape. The shot continues upwards until the frame is filled with Australia and upwards further until Planet Earth can seen be seen from outer space.

2 MONTAGE. NUMEROUS LOCATIONS

Opening Credit Sequence. Music Over: Donna Summer’s ‘Hot Stuff’. The shot from outer space zooms back to Australia.

DONNA SUMMER
“Gotta have some hot stuff
Gotta have some love tonight”

Zooms in on the Northern Territory to a fibro house in a small dry outback town.

DONNA SUMMER
“I need hot stuff
I want some hot stuff”

The voice over is that of Boston American accented woman with a mellifluous voice.

VOICE OVER
On 1st. April, in the year of our Lord, 1979, at 2.13 Greenwich Mean Time, as Margaret Thatcher becomes Prime Minister of Great Britain and Donna Summer’s ‘Hot Stuff’ hits number one on the charts...

A baby girl is born. Through the window can be seen a dry desert landscape.

VOICE OVER
...Rhonda Patterson joins the human race in the same moment as, on opposite sides of the planet...

Another baby girl is born. Through the window: a snow-covered street.

VOICE OVER
...Josephine Higgenbottom leaves the warm comfort of her mother’s womb.

Josephine’s vain actress mother (Josephine Senior) surrounded by well-wishing costumed actors cradles her new baby proudly.

VOICE OVER
In 19 years, seven months, two days, 6 hours and 23 minutes, as Presidential candidate Bill Clinton fields...

Rhonda’s mother (Phyllis) stands by the Hills Hoist clothesline, babe in arms.

VOICE OVER
...questions about the sex he didn’t have with Monica Lewinsky, Josephine and Rhonda are destined to meet in the middle of nowhere, though they have no idea of this just now.

Rhonda, 6 months, is baptized in a church. 

VOICE OVER
In fact neither Josephine nor Rhonda, destined to change her name to Venus, have any ideas in their heads just now, though…

Baby Rhonda’s POV: Phyllis raises her eyes to the large portrait of a blonde Jesus Christ hanging on the wall.

VOICE OVER
… this state of affairs does not last long for baby Rhonda.

PHYLLIS
Praise the Lord.

VOICE OVER
Phyllis’ unwavering belief that God has a plan for Rhonda...

Hanging next to the portrait of Jesus is a painting of Adam and Eve and the Serpent tempting Eve with an apple.

VOICE OVER
... is destined to be sorely tested!

Baby Rhonda stares wide-eyed at the Serpent.

Graphic: VENUS' STORY…in a nutshell

PHYLLIS, baby RHONDA on her hip, hangs washing on the Hills Hoist in the yard of a ramshackle old fibro house. There is a caravan parked in the yard.

VOICE OVER
Shortly after Rhonda was born, her mother, Phyllis, lost her husband, Dick, and found God.

RHONDA, aged 3, looks up at PHYLLIS; waiting for an answer to a question she has just asked.

PHYLLIS
The Good Lord took your father away.

RHONDA looks towards the caravan.

CLOSE ON RHONDA as she visualizes:

Her father, DICK, smiling at her as God's huge hand appears from the sky, picks him up and lifts him out of frame.

VOICE OVER
This was not strictly speaking true because Dick returns a few months later…

God's huge hand deposits DICK alongside RHONDA.

DICK tries to scare RHONDA with a small rubber snake but fails. RHONDA’S face lights up as she takes possession of the snake. PHYLLIS appears in the background, a beatific smile on her face; raises her arms in thanks to Heaven!

PHYLLIS
Praise the Lord.

VOICE OVER
…and stays long enough to take out a mortgage on the house...

RHONDA looks through the window of the rocking caravan.

VOICE OVER
…and obey the Lord's instruction to 'Go Forth and Multiply', resulting…

DICK, lying on top of PHYLLIS, looks lovingly into her eyes.

RHONDA, rubber snake in hand, stands beside PHYLLIS, visibly pregnant, watching DICK drive off, towing the caravan.

VOICE OVER
…in Phyllis adding to the already rich store of ideas she has put into Rhonda's head…

PHYLLIS
Your father is a snake in the grass.

RHONDA looks at her rubber snake: its head transforms into her father's head smiling and winking at her.

VOICE OVER
…and in a new addition to the human race.

Phyllis gives birth to a baby girl.

VOICE OVER
Rhonda prayed for a brother but God, in his infinite wisdom, gave her a sister instead - Mary Magdalene Patterson.

RHONDA looks questioningly up at PHYLLIS (BABY MARY on her hip) as PHYLLIS picks up one of several pill bottles from a kitchen shelf, tosses a couple of pills into her mouth.

VOICE OVER
It doesn’t take long before Rhonda is introduced to the magical power of…

PHYLLIS
Mother's Little Helpers.

RHONDA watches PHYLLIS (smiling beatifically) as she washes dishes.

VOICE OVER
The process of putting ideas into Rhonda's head continues for some years before Rhonda starts to have some ideas of her own.

RHONDA (8 years old), MARY (4 years old) and PHYLLIS look into the empty refrigerator

PHYLLIS
The Lord will provide.

VOICE OVER
The Lord, moving as he does in mysterious ways, does not provide, so Rhonda takes matters into her own hands.

RHONDA, in a supermarket, stuffs cheese, milk and bread into her school satchel. Smiling innocently, she walks nonchalantly past the Security Guard at the entrance with her satchel bulging with stolen goods.

PHYLLIS inspects the contents of the now full refrigerator, looks down to where RHONDA stands alongside her. 

PHYLLIS
You see, the Lord will provide. He has a plan. 

VOICE OVER
And so, at the age of eight, Rhonda sets about fulfilling God's plan…

PHYLLIS and MARY kneel; praying. RHONDA (8 still) sits nearby taking notes.

PHYLLIS (praying)
…a new school uniform for Mary, an egg-beater, fish for Friday…

RHONDA (still 8) steals a school uniform, an egg-beater and (most difficult of all!) a fish.

As PHYLLIS cooks the fish in the kitchen, RHONDA picks up a bottle of 'Mother's Little Helpers' and starts to unscrew the lid. PHYLLIS takes the pills from her.

PHYLLIS
God doesn't want little girls to eat these.

RHONDA reads an illustrated story of the Garden of Eden. 

VOICE OVER
The similarity between this prohibition of God's and another does not escape Rhonda's attention.

GOD, dressed in white, issues a stern warning to naked Adam and Eve as Eve looks longingly at an apple in a tree.

GOD
Thou shalt not eat of the Tree of Knowledge. If ye do, ye shalt die.

VOICE OVER
Rhonda knew that Adam and Eve did not die as a result of eating from the Tree of Knowledge…

RHONDA (11 now) watches, puzzled, as the Nun-Teacher finishes writing on the blackboard: KNOWLEDGE IS POWER

RHONDA
Why did God curse the Serpent for telling Eve she should eat from the Tree of Knowledge when you…

NUN
Rhonda, its not for you to question the Word of God.

VOICE OVER
It is too late, however, to stem the flow of questions flooding Rhonda's brain.

RHONDA
It's unfair to serpents.

VOICE OVER
And so it is that Rhonda's love of  snakes is nurtured and grows.

Rhonda looks at snakes in glass cages in a pet store.

VOICE OVER
Feeling the need to chose between God's opposition to women's education and the Serpent's more liberal views regarding knowledge…

Rhonda looks at a snake shedding its skin; entranced.

VOICE OVER
…Rhonda sides with serpents. She anticipates some opposition from her mother but is prepared.

Rhonda shows the python to Phyllis, a bandage wrapped around its middle.

RHONDA
She was run over by a car and the Lord asked me to help her in her time of need. Her name is Serpent.

PHYLLIS (beatific smile)
Oh!

Rhonda (12 years old now) inspects the bottle of Mother's Little Helpers in her hand.

VOICE OVER
Wondering if her ‘Mothers' Little Helpers’ have any role to play in God's Plan Rhonda conducts her first chemical experiment and discovers …

She takes a pill and pops it into her mouth.

VOICE OVER
… that 'Mothers Little Helpers' can be divided into two categories.

In her bedroom, RHONDA looks at two small bottles - one green, with GO written on it; one red, with STOP. She opens the GO bottle, takes out a pill, pops it into her mouth.

VOICE OVER
Her continuing chemical experiments lead her to the discovery of new states of consciousness

RHONDA, aged 15,'stoned', watches in awe as Serpent, her pet python, sheds her skin.

RHONDA
I will shed my skin and live forever.

As PHYLLIS prays, RHONDA, starts to shed her clothes. PHYLLIS, her eyes shut, is oblivious to RHONDA'S performance, but MARY (aged 11) opens one eye for a peek and can't help but enjoy what she sees.

VOICE OVER
And so it is that Rhonda, with the help of her friend, Cheryl, discovers an alternative way to keep her mother's refrigerator stocked.

RHONDA, 15, in a school storage room and wearing pink-rimmed heart-shaped ‘Lolita’ sunglasses, performs a strip-tease to the tune of “Jesus loves me this I know” as Cheryl collects money from a group of 16 year old boys. TWO NUNS appear in the doorway and react with horror to the sight of Rhonda dancing in her bra and knickers.

VOICE OVER
Rhonda's education comes to an abrupt halt. This causes her mother some distress at first but Phyllis' prayers...

PHYLLIS, hands on Rhonda's shoulders, eyes raised to heaven.

VOICE OVER
...are answered when Rhonda gets her first job as ‘Venus Aphrodite’...

RHONDA/VENUS puts food in the refrigerator as she answers PHYLLIS' question.

RHONDA/VENUS
I’ve got a job in the service industry.

RHONDA/VENUS (from here on in to be referred to as VENUS), in a brief bikini, wearing her ‘Lolita’ sunglasses, pops out of a huge 'cake' singing “Happy Birthday to you…” to the raucous applause of an assembled football team.

VOICE OVER
That Rhonda aka Venus is still only 15 years old causes some complications with Child Welfare…

VENUS, in her bedroom filled with stolen goods is confronted by THREE UNIFORMED POLICEMEN and TWO CHILD WELFARE OFFICERS.

VOICE OVER
…but it is her re-distribution of goods provided by the Lord that results in her being provided with alternative accommodation…

Juvenile Detention Centre. VENUS sits beside a teenage boy looking at a page torn from a BMW Mechanics Manual, at a detailed drawing of the BMW door-locking system.

VOICE OVER
…and an alternative education.

YOUNG CAR THIEF
All ya need to get past the BMW locking system is half a tennis ball...

The YOUNG CAR THIEF holds up half a tennis ball.

VOICE OVER
And it is in this alternative accommodation that Rhonda discovers her unique talent with computers. A talent…

Juvenile Detention Centre Activities room. Under the watchful eye of a WELFARE OFFICER, VENUS sits in front of a computer. On the screen is the PENTAGON Home Page.

VOICE OVER
…that makes it possible for her to roam freely inside almost any computer in the world that takes her fancy…

We see VENUS hack into the computers of Madonna, Michael Jackson and Brad Pitt.

VOICE OVER
...and become adept at the use of Photoshop.

VENUS puts Bill Clinton’s head on the body of Jabba the Hutt.

VOICE OVER
By the time she is 18, the now multi-skilled Rhonda is too old to utilize this alternative accommodation any longer and so…

VENUS walks out of Juvenile Detention Centre, bag in hand.

3 INT. STRIP CLUB. “GET YOUR ROCKS OFF” NIGHT

VENUS, wearing out-sized sunglasses shaped like Sydney Harbour Bridge, a pink wig and a python wrapped around her near naked body, performs an erotic ‘python dance’ in a crowded smoke-filled strip joint: “Get Your Rocks Off”. Behind her, a sign: VENUS APHRODITE.

VOICE OVER
…with her mother and sister still to support and not wishing to destroy Phyllis' faith in God, Rhonda, who has changed her name to Venus Aphrodite, continues to provide…

VENUS greets PHYLLIS at the front door of her fibro house with a big bunch of flowers, a basket full of food and an envelope filled with cash.

VOICE OVER
And so it is, one day...

4 INT. DRESSING ROOM. STRIP CLUB. NIGHT

VENUS, in the dressing room of the strip club “Get Your Rocks Off” with THREE YOUNG STRIPPERS looks at the TV - on which the bald Tony (BIG TONY) Babbit can be seen pontificating in front of a large banner that reads FAMILY FIRST:

VOICE OVER
...when she sees Tony Babbit on TV:

BIG TONY
Only when this great country of ours embraces traditional family values and stamps out strip joints and other such dens of iniquity...

VOICE OVER
...that an idea occurs to her.

VENUS calls to the other TWO YOUNG STRIPPERS over, tells them her plan. In a MONTAGE:

VENUS, a photo of Tony Babbit at her side, flicks through a book filled with photos of male actors, stops on one; smiles.

VENUS, in a motel room, hands a middle aged actor a wad of money and proceeds to shave his head.

VENUS attaches fake ears to the actor, stripped down to his underwear, so that he now looks very like Big Tony.

VENUS stands behind a camera on a tripod, signals to ‘BIG TONY’, to take off his underpants. Behind her the TWO YOUNG STRIPPERS start to take their clothes off.

End opening credit sequence.

NOTE: It will be apparent by now, despite  their radically different hair-styles, that JOSIE and VENUS look very alike. Whilst Josie and Venus will be played by the same actress, efforts must be made with make-up to make them NOT look like identical twins. Whilst they can be mistaken for each other (particularly when they want to), the audience should mistake them at this point for sisters only; not twins.

5 INT. ‘FETISHES’.

TERENCE, late 40s, thinning hair tied in a pony tail, wearing much too much bling, sits in the deserted ‘dining area’ of a different strip club: FETISHES. On the TV:

Tony Babbitt pontificates.

TONY BABBIT
Strip clubs and other dens of iniquity, run by known gangsters...

In the background, THREE YOUNG STRIPPERS take it in turns auditioning for RANDY, late 20s, in a loud floral shirt.

TONY BABBIT
... must and will be closed down when I am elected.

Signs reveal the club’s name: FETISHES.  TERENCE’S mobile phone rings. He picks it up but keeps his eyes of the TV.

TONY BABBIT
No longer will known criminals be able to cater to the fetishes of depraved men...

TERENCE uses the ‘remote’ to turn the volume down on the TV.

TERENCE
Fetishes. What can I do you for?

VENUS’ VOICE
You don’t know me, Terence, but I know you and I am a big fan. Huge! Venus Aphrodite.

TERENCE (smiles)
I’ve heard a lot about you, Venus Aphrodite. From my friend, Reggie.

VENUS’ VOICE
Oh! (A BEAT) Got any interest footage of Tony Babbit dancing naked...

RANDY, sunglasses propped in his blonde-streaked hair, lifts a film director's viewfinder hanging around his neck, looks through it as a YOUNG STRIPPER smiles seductively at him.

VENUS’ VOICE
...in a motel room with two teenage high school girls?

6 INT. VENUS' CAR. OUTBACK ROAD. LATE AFTERNOON

VENUS drives. She wears her Sydney Harbour Bridge sunglasses; speaks into the pink (tastefully phallic!) cylindrical mobile phone seen earlier in Josie’s hands.

TERENCE’S VOICE
Is the Pope Catholic?

VENUS
Do bears shit in the woods!

7 INT. ‘FETISHES’.

TERENCE watches Tony Babbit on TV as he talks.

TERENCE
Does the Pope shit in the woods? Does Dolly Parton sleep on her back? ‘Course I’m interested, sweetheart. ‘Course I am.

VENUS’ VOICE
Cost ya four grand. 

TERENCE
Whoa! Five grand! That’s a bit steep, Venus!

8 EXT. VENUS' CAR. OUTBACK ROAD. LATE AFTERNOON

Seen from outside, VENUS drives a green car.

VENUS
Blackmail’s an expensive business, Terence?

TERENCE’S VOICE
Give ya three, max!

VENUS
Five grand Terence. Think about it. I’ll await your call.

VENUS hangs up, smiles, throws her mobile into a black carry bag on the passenger seat; turns up the radio. A news report:

RADIO
President Clinton denies all the allegations that have been made by Ms Lewinsky.

9 EXT. OUTSKIRTS OF DARWIN. DAY

VENUS’ green car drives past a sign that reads:

DARWIN 10 kms

BILL CLINTON’S VOICE
“I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky.”

10 MONTAGE. VARIOUS LOCATIONS

Backstage in a theatre. JOSEPHINE SENIOR and other ctors watch TV. Men at Work sing “I come from the Land Downunder.”

Grahic: London 1983.

MEN AT WORK
“Do you come from a land down under?
Where women glow and men plunder?”

On the TV:
The final few seconds of the 83 America’s Cup in Perth. Australia wins. Prime Minister  Bob Hawke ecstatic!

VOICE OVER
Meanwhile, back in 1983, on the other side of the world, as Australia wins the America’s cup...

Nearby, backstage, 4 YEAR OLD JOSEPHINE, clutching a small pink teddy bear, looks up at racks of colourful theatrical costumes.

MEN AT WORK
“Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder?”

Close on 4 YEAR OLD JOSEPHINE as she explores the costumes with her hands and eyes; smiling happily.

MEN AT WORK
“You better run, you better take cover”

She ignores the admiring smiles of JOSEPHINE SNR and ACTORS in Restoration comedy costumes looking down at her.

Graphic: JOSIE’S STORY...in a nutshell

An AGEING ROUE, his eyes on JOSEPHINE SNR’s ample uplifted breasts, squeezed into a tight bustier:

AGEING ROUE
Beautiful, just like her mother.

JOSEPHINE JUNIOR pays no attention - entranced as she is by the colour and texture of the costumes.

NOTE: (Young Josie and Venus, very similar in looks at all ages, are to be played by the same actresses – with different haircuts etc.)

A park. JOSEPHINE JNR, aged 5, stares at a flower garden.

JOSEPHINE SNR sits on a blanket closeby, sipping champagne with her current BEAU. JOSEPHINES Snr. and Jnr. have identical haircuts.

VOICE OVER
Unlike Venus’ mother, Josephine Senior, does not think that God has a plan but that life’s twists and turns are mapped out in the stars.

In answer to the BEAU’S question, looking at JOSEPHINE JNR.

JOSEPHINE SENIOR
Aries. Such a happy child! (LOUDER) Aren’t you, darling? A happy child?

JOSEPHINE JNR turns and smiles dutifully at her mother. The BEAU glances at JOSEPHINE SENIOR’S ample uplifted breasts.

VOICE OVER
At a very early age young Josephine discovers that the world as she imagines it is much more...

In her imagination JOSEPHINE JUNIOR undresses and re-dresses her mother and the BEAU in costumes made from flowers.

VOICE OVER
...interesting than the world as it is and that bodies...

JOSEPHINE JNR (aged 5), pink teddy bear at her side, pastes a cut out picture of a dress into her Scrap Book.

VOICE OVER
...adorned in beautiful clothes never fail to put a smile on her face.

JOSEPHINE JNR, smiling, is surrounded by photos of models in haute couture clothes she has cut from Fashion Magazines.

VOICE OVER
By the time she is fifteen, Josephine is collecting Fashion Designers also...

TEENAGE JOSEPHINE (15 years old now, to be played for here on in by the same actress who plays teenage Venus) now has a large collection of Scrap Books. The walls of her bedroom bear witness to her love of fashion design. Her pink teddy bear sits on her pillow.

VOICE OVER
...her favorite being the Australian Amaroo Yunipingu, whose designs, inspired by Australian flora and fauna, so shocked the fashion world and gave birth to his label, ‘Feral Fashion’.

Magazine photos of Amaroo’s ‘indigenous’ designs. One, inspired by and partly made of ostrich feathers.

A zoo. TEENAGE JOSEPHINE (15 still) looks at the multi-coloured birds in a large aviary. Closeby, JOSEPHINE SENIOR flirts with a NEW NEW BEAU.

TEENAGE JOSEPHINE’S attention is caught by her mother’s raucous theatrical laugh. In her imagination she undresses and re-dresses her mother in a costume made from multi-coloured parrot feathers. Pleased with the result, she dresses the NEW NEW BEAU in Eagle feathers, his hands (transformed into talons) poised to grasp Josie Senior’s ample breasts.

VOICE OVER
Josie’s early attempts at clothes design…

TEENAGE JOSEPHINE sitting at a sewing machine, surrounded by feathers, hands an imaginatively designed jacket, made mostly of feathers, to her bemused mother.

VOICE OVER
…reveal that her powers of imagination are far greater than her skill with a sewing machine.

As JOSEPHINE SNR tries the jacket on it falls apart.

JOSIE SENIOR
Best to stick with what you are good at, darling.

VOICE OVER
What Josephine Junior is ‘good at’ Josephine Senior assures her daughter, is acting.
TEENAGE JOSEPHINE, a lady in a Restoration Comedy, takes a bow centre stage, smiling at the applauding audience in general and her proud mother in particular.

VOICE OVER
And young Josephine, Josie to her friends now, is indeed a skilled actress.
Backstage, TEENAGE JOSEPHINE smiles enthusiastically as her mother’s admiring friends congratulate her. JOSEPHINE SNR hugs JOSEPHINE JNR, who smiles obligingly.

JOSIE SENIOR
She wants to be an actress when she grows up, don’t you darling?

VOICE OVER
Skilled enough to convince her mother that she loves acting, when in fact pretending to be someone else, does not seem to Josie to be a particularly noble pursuit. Unless that someone is Richard Gere…

TEENAGE JOSEPHINE, clutching her pink teddy bear, watches TV; tears in her eyes:
Richard Gere, in a white officer’s uniform, picks Debra Winger up in his arms and carries her out of the factory.

VOICE OVER
…for whom Josie develops a serious teenage crush.

TEENAGE JOSEPHINE sits in the wings of a theatre, mending a costume.

VOICE OVER
In Josie’s mind acting is not nearly as much fun as making costumes and the...

Onstage, JOSEPHINE SNR, in peasant garb, plays Joan of Arc, about to be burnt at the stake.

VOICE OVER
...free reign the world of theatre offers her fertile imagination.

JOSEPHINE SENIOR (as Joan)
 “I bid you remember that I am a saint...

In her imagination JOSEPHINE JNR re-dresses her mother as a Hooker – her breasts spilling out of a crimson bustier, micro skirt, knee high leather boots; whip in hand.

JOSEPHINE SENIOR
...and that saints can work miracles.”

VOICE OVER
With her mother’s connections and her own natural talent as an actress...

In a darkened theatre, JOSEPHINE SNR sits beside the DIRECTOR of the Acting School.

VOICE OVER
...the course of young Josie’s stellar acting career seems set...

TEENAGE JOSEPHINE (18 years old) strides onstage dressed as a hooker – in the same costume she imagined her mother in - crimson bustier, micro skirt, knee high leather boots.

VOICE OVER
And so it was that she finds herself auditioning for a place in the Royal Shakespeare Company that she is determined not to win.

JOSEPHINE SNR is shocked until she sees that the DIRECTOR of the School is amused.

CASTING DIRECTOR
And what is your audition piece, Miss Higgenbottom.

TEENAGE JOSEPHINE
Joan or Arc, sir.

TEENAGE JOSEPHINE recites the last line of her audition piece. Her attempts to perform badly has a reverse affect to the one intended on the DIRECTOR.

TEENAGE JOSEPHINE (as Joan)
“O God that madest this beautiful earth, when will it be ready to receive thy saints? How long, O Lord, how long?”

TEENAGE JOSEPHINE takes a bow and exits. The CASTING DIRECTOR turns to JOSEPHINE SNR:

CASTING DIRECTOR
She’s magnificent. An original talent. Like her mother. Did you know she was going to play Saint Joan as a...whore?

JOSIE SENIOR
Of course! We’re like that (CROSSES HER FINGERS) two peas in a pod. Josie hides nothing from me.

VOICE OVER
This is not strictly speaking true since Josie, recently turned 18 has secretly acquired her own passport and a tourist visa for 3 months…

TEENAGE JOSEPHINE spins a Globe, measures the distance from London to Australia.

VOICE OVER
…in the furthest English-speaking country from her mother she can find on the planet.

CLOSE ON: Passport photo of JOSIE, with short pink hair. 

PASSPORT CONTROL OFFICER 
G’day Josephine!

At Sydney airport, the PASSPORT CONTROL OFFICER looks from the passport to TEENAGE JOSEPHINE (JOSIE) – her hair short and pink now.

JOSIE
Josie!

PASSPORT CONTROL OFFICER 
And you have $5,000 to support yourself while you are in Oz?

JOSIE nods, hands the PASSPORT CONTROL OFFICER a booklet of Traveller’s Cheques. He flicks through them quickly.

PASSPORT CONTROL OFFICER 
Welcome to Australia, Josie.

JOSIE sits on a bus driving through the Australian desert. She holds her pink teddy bear up to the window to share the view. Open on her lap is her Amaroo Yunipingu scrapbook.

VOICE OVER
Josie’s main reason for being in Australia, actually, is her fervent desire to meet her design hero in the hope...

JOSIE crosses her fingers.

VOICE OVER
...that Amaroo might become her mentor.

JOSIE looks out the window of the bus at a passing sign on the outskirts of  Darwin:

DARWIN 10 kms

JOSIE, dressed in one of her eye-catching outfits, carrying her red suitcase, walks down the street in Darwin and into an upmarket arcade.

11 INT. AMAROO’S BOUTIQUE. DAY

As JOSIE waits at Reception, admiring an array of  imaginatively designed clothes, she catches a glimpse of AMAROO - a handsome thirtysomething man of Chinese/Aboriginal descent - in a back room fitting one of his exotic costumes onto a model. JOSIE, in 7th heaven, hopes he will notice her.

The RECEPTIONIST looks at JOSIE’S outfit, smiles her congratulations, looks into the diary on her desk.

RECEPTIONIST
I am sure Amaroo will want to see you. He’s leaving for overseas tomorrow but I can squeeze you in first thing in the morning...

JOSIE’S face breaks into the happiest of smiles.

A DAY LATER

JOSIE smile has turned into a frown. She is wearing yet another of her daring and imaginative outfits as the immaculately dressed RECEPTIONIST (also in a different outfit) smiles apologetically.

RECEPTIONIST
I’m terribly sorry, but Amaroo had to catch an earlier flight and...

JOSIE tries hard to hide her disappointment.

12 INT. PUB. NIGHT

JOSIE sits on a stool at the bar in a crowded pub sipping a cocktail; drowning her sorrows.

Onstage a band (THE COWBOYS) plays. The lead singer and guitarist, BRANDON, (Marlboro Man good looks) beams a huge white smile at JOSIE when she looks in his direction.

VENUS, in dark glasses and wearing a wig, sits on the vacant stool next to JOSIE’S; a black carry bag hanging from her shoulder.

VENUS pays no attention to JOSIE (whose eyes are on BRANDON) as she scans the bar looking for someone. She sees her DRUG DEALER, makes eye contact, nods.

As VENUS - on edge, nervous - looks down at her shaking hands, JOSIE’S spirits improve exponentially as BRANDON flirts with her with his eyes as he sings a corny love song.

The DRUG DEALER sits alongside VENUS. She slips an envelope along the bar to him. He drops a small packet into her black carry bag. JOSIE notices none of this. Her eyes are on BRANDON  - his eyes staring directly into her own.

VENUS stands, walks out.

BRANDON finishes his song, walks across the Club, stands in front of JOSIE, takes her hand, drops to one knee kisses the back of it, looks into her eyes.

BRANDON
You have most beautiful blue eyes that I have ever seen. 

JOSIE is smitten. She smiles joyfully, turns bright red.

BRANDON sweeps JOSIE up into his arms in a manner reminiscent of Richard Gere in AN OFFICER AND A GENTLEMAN.

13 EXT. PUB. NIGHT

BRANDON, his guitar case on his back, carries JOSIE to his gleaming silver and black Harley Davison parked outside.

14 EXT. MOTORBIKE ON OUTBACK ROAD. NIGHT

JOSIE, the guitar case strapped to her back now, clings to BRANDON as he drives on an outback road under a full moon.

15. INT. BEACH. NIGHT

BRANDON leans up against his Harley, his arms around JOSIE. She looks up at him adoringly. Behind them, the full moon reflects a silver corridor of light off the still ocean. 

JOSIE
Do you believe in destiny?

BRANDON (nods)
Yes, I'm going to be a rock and roll star. And you?

JOSIE
Famous fashion designer. (A BEAT) My eyes are brown, by the way; not blue.
BRANDON laughs. JOSIE smiles. He leans forward to kiss her.

JOSIE
You can’t kiss me.

BRANDON
Why?

JOSIE
Because...because....if you do I’ll..

BRANDON  kisses her.

JOSIE
No, I can’t...you can’t...we can’t...

She grabs BRANDON’S head and kisses him passionately.

16 AMAROO’S BOUTIQUE. DAY

JOSIE, in yet another of her eccentrically beautiful outfits, stands at the RECEPTIONIST’S desk. She shakes her head.

RECEPTIONIST
I’m sorry.

JOSIE tries to hide her disappointment.

MONTAGE
- JOSIE sits at her sewing machine creating yet another outlandish colourful outfit.
- JOSIE in her new outfit in Amaroo’s boutique. The RECEPTIONIST shakes her head. JOSIE  smiles stoically.
- JOSIE sits at her sewing machine working on a new design.
- The RECEPTIONIST shakes her head etc.

Eventually:

RECEPTIONIST
If you leave your phone number I’ll make sure to let you know the minute Amaroo is back in the country.

JOSIE smiles, takes out a pen and begins to write down her phone number.

17 INT. DRESSING ROOM. STRIP CLUB. NIGHT

In the dressing room of Venus’ strip club a black gloved hand lifts Venus’ pink cylindrical phone from her black bag. Venus’ familiar  ‘python dance’ music can be heard in the background, along with the cheering of a happy male audience.

OLIVER, early 30s, alone in the room, sweats profusely as he examines the mobile. He is nervous, fumbles but eventually finds the battery compartment; removes the battery.

18 INT. STRIP CLUB. DARWIN. NIGHT

VENUS, wearing Sydney Harbour Bridge sunglasses, in a hot pink wig, a python wrapped around her near naked body, performs an erotic dance to music in a crowded smoke-filled strip joint. Behind her, a sign: VENUS APHRODITE.

A DRUNKEN MAN slips a $100 bill into VENUS’ g-string and puckers his lips in hopes of a kiss.

OLIVER, twitchy and drenched with sweat, sits at the rear of the strip joint, watches VENUS’ dance as he removes his black leather gloves. He takes a cigarette from a packet and puts it in his mouth.

VENUS approaches the DRUNKEN MAN as if to kiss him – indicating that he must close his eyes. He does so. VENUS presents him with her bottom to kiss. He does so.
OLIVER laughs nervously, the unlit cigarette jiggling up and down between his lips.

19 INT. BRANDON’S HOUSE. NIGHT

JOSIE lies face down asleep on a double bed, barely covered by an Indian silk sarong.  It is a hot night. The sound of a motor bike half wakes her as BRANDON pulls up on his Harley in the front yard, his guitar strapped to his back.

A LITTLE LATER

BRANDON, wearing a sarong, walks up the  bed carrying a tray with two cups of hot chocolate on it, a pile of pancakes and a bottle of maple syrup. JOSIE is sound asleep. He places the tray on the bed gently and lightly massages JOSIE’S back with the tips of his fingers. JOSIE purrs, opens her eyes, smiles and turns over as BRANDON leans in to kiss her on the lips.

JOSIE
Mmmm...

She dips her finger into the moat of maple syrup around the pancakes, puts it in her mouth.

BRANDON grins wickedly, dips his finger in the moat, holds it up to JOSIE’S mouth. She opens her mouth, sucks on his finger, laughs happily.

20 INT. CAR. OUTSIDE STRIP CLUB. NIGHT

OLIVER, sweating profusely, sits in his car; looks at the screen of the laptop computer resting on his lap:

OLIVER’S BOSS sits at a desk - a CIA emblem on the wall behind him. 

OLIVER’S BOSS
She has to be stopped, Agent Pringle.

OLIVER
Yes sir.

In the background, across the road, VENUS can be seen emerging from the Strip Club carrying a heavy basket. 

OLIVER’S BOSS
And it is imperative that we find out what Miss Aphrodite knows. You realize what’s at stake here.

VENUS’ hair is wrapped in a colorful scarf and she is wearing her heart-shaped Lolita sunglasses.

OLIVER’S BOSS
Failure is not an option.

21 EXT. DARWIN STREET. NIGHT

VENUS walks up to a taxi parked outside the Strip Club, puts her basket on the rear passenger seat. OLIVER can be seen parked across the road in his red car.

VENUS reaches into her black carry bag, takes out her pink mobile as she gets in.

OLIVER
I’ve planted a bug and a tracking device in her dildo and..

OLIVER’S BOSS’ VOICE
Her dildo..!?

OLIVER
Her phone. It’s shaped...well, um... doesn’t matter. Point is...I won’t let you down, dad...umm, I mean sir.

OLIVER’S BOSS’ VOICE
I certainly hope not, Oliver. I really do. There are profound implications at stake here for the Australia-United States alliance if she is not stopped.

VENUS punches numbers into her pink mobile phone.

22 INT. OLIVER’S CAR. OUTSIDE STRIP CLUB. NIGHT

OLIVER turns on a tape recorder on the seat beside him, switches on the ignition as VENUS drives by in the taxi, pink mobile at her ear. Terence’s voice emanates from the recording device.

TERENCE’S VOICE
We can give you $3,500 max for the video, darlin’!  

23 INT. TAXI. NIGHT

VENUS, in the back seat of the cab, talks on her pink mobile.

VENUS
$4,000, Terence.

TERENCE’S VOICE
He is naked, right? Big Tony? Like...totally!

24 INT. OLIVER’S CAR. NIGHT

OLIVER follows Venus' taxi. Venus' voice emanates from the recording device.

VENUS’ VOICE
As the day he was born.

On the seat beside him is his laptop computer - on the screen of which can be seen a red flashing dot moving across Darwin.

VENUS' VOICE
He'll shit himself when he sees it. You'll have him by the short and curlies.

Venus' taxi slows; pulls up outside an apartment block.

OLIVER watches her walk from the taxi into the building carrying her heavy 'python basket'.

25 INT. VENUS’ APARTMENT. NIGHT

VENUS sits in front of her computer, typing. ‘Serpent’ is curled up asleep on the floor.

CLOSE ON the screen as THE PENTAGON home page appears.

VENUS finds the sub-heading she is looking for and clicks on it. A “HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL” Pentagon web page appears – with a box into which must be typed a password.  

VENUS deftly types in numbers and letters. A moment later, in red flashing letters, she sees: ACCESS DENIED

VENUS crosses off the 10th or so entry in her note-book, starts to type in code number 11.

26 INT. OLIVER’S CAR. NIGHT

OLIVER looks at the laptop computer screen. On the “HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL” Pentagon web page Venus’ latest attempt at entering a password can be seen.

OLIVER takes a cigarette out of a packet, puts it in his mouth.

27 INT. VENUS. APARTMENT. NIGHT

VENUS raps her fingers nervously on the table, pours herself a glass of wine. Onscreen: ACCESS DENIED

VENUS minimizes the web page, opens a folder on her desktop entitled TOM CRUISE.

CLOSE ON: Computer screen. A photo of Tom Cruise’s head, turned towards the camera, alongside another shot of a naked man, seen from behind, on a luxury cruiser. VENUS uses Photoshop to move Tom Cruise’s head onto the naked body. 

VENUS smiles to herself, sips wine, kneads her stressed shoulders with her hands and prepares to write. Beside her is the open manila folder filled with sensational gossip newspaper and magazine articles about celebrities – the most prominent of which is the I HAD BILL CLINTON’S LOVE CHILD article. Alongside the folder: several vials of pills. After a moment’s contemplation, VENUS types:

             My first night with Tom was HOT!!!

VENUS’ neck is killing her. She picks up a vial, tips a few pills into her hand, knocks them back with a slug of wine.

There is a loud knocking at the door. VENUS calls out.

VENUS
Who is it?

VOICE
Friends of Reggie’s.

VENUS (sotto voce)
Shit! (LOUD) Be there in a sec.

Moving at lightning speed VENUS dresses, unclamps a small fold-up satellite receiver attached to the window sill, packs it into its red plastic case; packs the blue VHS video cassette case with BIG TONY written on it and her manila folder full of newspaper clippings into her black shoulder bag, along with her pink mobile phone. 

28 INT. HALLWAY. NIGHT

The TWO BIG BURLY MEN stand at the front door. BURLY MAN #1 bangs on the door loudly.

BURLY MAN #1
Hey, Venus,  we don’t got all night!

29 INT. OLIVER’S CAR. NIGHT

OLIVER’S eyes are on the black Mercedes as he hears:

VENUS’ VOICE
Just getting dressed…

OLIVER registers the driver of the Mercedes – a Mafiosi thug out of Central Casing - in sunglasses; his thinning hair tied in a long pony tail. We will get to know him as REGGIE.

30 INT. HALLWAY. NIGHT

The two BIG BURLY MEN exchange looks, agree on the plan of action, charge the door in unison – knocking it to the floor.

31 INT. VENUS’ APARTMENT. NIGHT

The two BIG BURLY MEN search the apartment looking for Venus.

32 EXT. APARTMENT. NIGHT

VENUS, bags and cases hanging from her shoulders, ‘Serpent’ wrapped around her neck, shimmies down the drainpipe at the side of the building. Her black shoulder bag catches hold of the drainpipe and in the process of freeing it, most of it’s contents fall out.

Seen from below: Various items fall past us: the blue plastic VHS case and several pill bottles.

The bottles of pills shatter on the ground – sending pills flying off in all directions.

33 EXT. BACK STEET. NIGHT

VENUS, loaded down with ‘Serpent’ and bags, rushes down a dark suburban street, checking out the cars parked there. When she sees a blue BMW her eyes light up. She takes half a tennis ball from her black bad, places it over the lock and hits it hard. The inside locks jump up.

34 INT/EXT. BRANDON’S HOUSE. DAY

BRANDON is polishing his motor bike on the patio of his house as JOSIE, just inside the French doors, finishes sewing yet another wildly colourful and outrageously designed outfit.

A LITTLE LATER

JOSIE, dressed in her new outfit, looks at herself in a full length mirror - very happy with her work. She traipses out onto the patio and presents herself to BRANDON.

JOSIE
Da da!

BRANDON turns to her with a smile but seems not to notice her new outfit. His attention on the true love of his life - his spotlessly clean, gleaming shiny Harley Davison.

BRANDON
Is that a thing of beauty or what?

JOSIE
More beautiful than me?

BRANDON notices JOSIE’S outfit.

BRANDON
Hey. (A BEAT) Cool.

JOSIE
Yeah!?

BRANDON
I love your beautiful clothes, babe. I really do. But you know what?

He takes her head in his hands, kisses her on the lips.

BRANDON
I love you even more without them.

JOSIE laughs, shakes her head. BRANDON grins, starts to undress her. JOSIE stops him, breaks away.

JOSIE
Wait.

As JOSIE rushes from the room the phone rings. BRANDON answers it.

BRANDON
Sorry, she’s tied up at the moment, can I take a message?

BRANDON writes on a piece of paper alongside the phone. JOSIE reappears wearing a brown suede cowboy jacket (with tassles) and bearing the logo: THE COWBOYS. Underneath the logo is written Brandon.

BRANDON bursts out laughing.

35 INT. PUB. NIGHT

BRANDON and the other members of THE COWBOYS play rock and roll - all wearing tassled suede Josie-designed cowboy jackets with their names underneath the COWBOYS logo.

JOSIE loves the music; dances up a storm with the rest of the crowd. She is the most colourful and  outrageously dressed woman on the dance floor. There is a good deal of eye-contact and smiling between JOSIE and BRANDON.

LATER

JOSIE signals to BRANDON onstage (with a theatrical yawn) that she is leaving. He nods, beams a white smile, blows her a kiss. JOSIE blows a kiss back.

36 EXT. BRANDON'S HOUSE. NIGHT

JOSIE, wearing a light Indian silk sarong only this hot summer’s night, works at her sewing machine on the porch. She yawns, looks at her watch. It is 3 am. She decides to call it a night, gets up and walks through the French doors into:

37 INT. LIVING ROOM. BRANDON’S HOUSE. NIGHT

JOSIE walks up to a futon, lies down, loosens her sarong, closes her eyes.

MORNING

BRANDON, wearing his cowboy outfit and carrying a bottle of Maple Syrup, tip toes through the doors towards the bed, on which JOSIE lies - her naked body covered with her sarong.

BRANDON puts down the bottle of Maple Syrup, takes his shirt off to reveal a trim tanned muscular back. He unbuckles his belt and begins to take off his faded denim jeans.

JOSIE turns her head to look up at BRANDON, whose naked body can be seen from behind. JOSIE, smiling up at BRANDON, slips out from beneath her sarong, turns onto her back.  (Fear not, dear Reader, nothing x-rated here!)

BRANDON picks up the bottle of Maple Syrup; unscrews the cap. JOSIE smiles, reaches behind her, finds what she is looking for and lifts into frame a yellow disposable cardboard camera. As BRANDON begins to pour drips of syrup onto her breasts, JOSIE lifts the camera to take a photo of BRANDON hovering above her, bottle in hand. FREEZE FRAME.

Through the lens of her camera we see:

JOSIE tilt from Brandon's head and shoulders to shoulders and chest (click!), to chest and stomach (click); stomach and…

CLOSE ON JOSIE, smiling as she takes another photo (click!) - closely followed by a loud scream.

JOSIE
Ahhhh

JOSIE'S scream has been elicited by the appearance, on the porch, of three MEN IN BLUE OVERALLS, staring at them.

A LITTLE LATER

JOSIE struggles into a tattered pale blue t-shirt with PARTY ANIMAL written on the front as BRANDON pulls his jeans on. In the background MEN IN BLUE OVERALLS can be seen wheeling Brandon’s motor bike towards the DEBT CONSOLIDATION van parked in the street.

BRANDON
Must have forgotten a few payments…

JOSIE
You've got a memory like a sieve, Brandon Tilbury!

A thought has just occurred to BRANDON that fills him with panic. He looks at the clock on the wall. It reads 8.45.

BRANDON
Babe, I did tell you that Amarroo's secretary called about your appointment this morning, didn't I???

38 EXT. BRANDON'S HOUSE. DAY

JOSIE, carrying her red suitcase, runs out the door past BRANDON - almost in tears as the MEN IN BLUE OVERALLS secure his gleaming Harley in the DEBT CONSOLIDATION van.

BRANDON
You're not going like that!?

He is referring to JOSIE'S pale blue t-shirt, sticking to her wet sticky breasts like a second skin. JOSIE walks fast towards a waiting taxi.

JOSIE
I'll change in the taxi.

BRANDON
Sorry babe!

39 INT. TAXI. DARWIN STREET. DAY

JOSIE, in the passenger seat of a taxi, tries to open the clasp on her suitcase. It is jammed. She takes off one of her shoes and hits the lock of her suitcase: hard. It won't open.

JOSIE
Shit!

She looks at her t-shirt. The wet sticky patches over her breasts have turned dark blue. JOSIE hits the lock of her suitcase with her shoe again. It still won’t open. She looks at her watch.

JOSIE
Shit!

40 EXT/INT. TAXI/ OUTSIDE ARCADE. DAY

JOSIE emerges from the taxi outside the arcade in which Amaroo has his boutique. As the taxi pulls out she realizes she is wearing only one shoe.

JOSIE (shouts)
Wait!

JOSIE watches the taxi drive off, her shoe on the dash board.

41 INT. ARCADE. DAY

JOSIE rushes through the arcade, through some doors, into:

42 INT. LARGE ROOM. DAY

A large room in which half a dozen young men and women - all immaculately dressed and coifed - stand by racks of their fashionable clothes waiting their turn to present their designs to AMAROO - sitting with his ASSISTANT at the other end of the room. 

AMAROO looks at JOSIE - bedraggled, out-of-breath, in grubby cut off jeans, wearing a sticky wet t-shirt with PARTY ANIMAL written on it and only one shoe.

AMAROO
And you'd be?

JOSIE 
Josephine Higgenbottom. I'm sorry I'm…late…I…

AMAROO holds up his hand to stop her.

AMAROO
Lateness is the least of your problems, sweetheart. Next. Nerida Walsh.

AMAROO’S ASSISTANT signals to NERIDA.

Close to tears, JOSIE walks towards the doors. Immaculately attired NERIDA pushes a rack of clothes before her, striding confidently towards AMAROO. Her rack clips the edge of Josie's suitcase. It bursts open, scattering Josie's designs on the floor - shirts, skirts, bustiers, multi-coloured jackets embedded with tiny mirrors, coins and crystals.

JOSIE kneels to retrieve them; sniffling, miserable.

As she repacks her wildly colorful eccentric clothes, two legs appear in frame and then a slender dark manicured hand.

As AMAROO picks up the bustier embedded with tiny mirrors, coins and crystals AMAROO'S changed tone of voice reveals his professional respect for what he is looking at.

AMAROO 
Did you create these?

43 INT. ARCADE. DAY

JOSIE, a spring in her step and a huge smile on her face, speaks excitedly into her mobile phone.

JOSIE
He wants me to be his assistant; to be my mentor. I can’t believe it. I...oh, shit...This is the happiest day of my life. All I have to do is get a new visa...a student visa...

44 EXT. FRONT YARD. BRANDON'S HOUSE. DAY

JOSIE gets out of a taxi, surprised to see Brandon’s motor bike parked in the yard. BRANDON, looking very sheepish, appears on the porch.

JOSIE
How!?....What!?

BRANDON
I borrowed some of your travelers cheques.

45 INT. BRANDON'S HOUSE. DAY

JOSIE looks at Travellers cheques - only the stubs of which remain. She is in shock.

BRANDON 
And you're going to get it all back, babe. Promise. As soon as the advance for our album comes through. Two weeks, max!

JOSIE
But I need that money to get a student visa. (A BEAT) In the next week! You've stolen ALL my money.

BRANDON 
Borrowed, babe, borrowed!

JOSIE stares at him, in shock. There is a knock at the front door. BRANDON opens it to a YOUNG WOMAN - suitcase in one hand, a bottle of maple syrup in the other - smiling broadly.

YOUNG WOMAN
I’m back.

46 INT. CAR. OUTBACK ROAD. DAY

VENUS, wearing her ‘Lolita’ sunglasses, drinks a beer as she drives, jiggles her right leg nervously. She takes one hand off the steering wheel, looks at it. It is shaking badly.

Placing the beer bottle between her legs she reaches into the black carry bag on the seat beside her, extracts a bottle of pills. It is empty. She extracts another. Empty. She chooses another, (seemingly randomly) unscrews the lid, tips the last three or four into her open hand (steering  with her knees), throws them into her mouth and washes them down with a swig of beer.

VENUS
Merde!

The sound of Mendelssohn’s Wedding March emanates from inside her black carry bag. VENUS reaches into it, takes out her slender pink mobile phone. Her hands shake badly.

MARY (telephone)
Hey, sis!

VENUS
Hi gorgeous. 

MARY (telephone)
The Debt collectors are here again…

VENUS
Merde!(A BEAT) How bad is it?

MARY (telephone)
Bad bad. Very bad bad...

VENUS plants her foot on the brake. Her car skids to a halt.

47 INT. OLIVER’S CAR. OUTBACK ROAD. DAY

OLIVER, unlit cigarette in his mouth, slows as he notices that the red dot on the computer screen has stopped moving.

MARY’S VOICE
...and mum’s given the last of her money to...

VENUS’ VOICE
Some Christians in need!

48 INT. VENUS’ CAR. DAY

VENUS has her mobile to her ear. Mary’s laughter is heard.

MARY (telephone)
You’re psycho sis!

VENUS
Psychic, ya mean!

MARY (telephone)
Yeah, that too.

VENUS smiles, does a U-turn.

49 INT. OLIVER’S CAR. OUTBACK ROAD. DAY

OLIVER has pulled to the side of the road; is looking at the laptop computer screen. The red flashing dot is moving towards him. He looks up to see Venus’ car driving towards him. He picks up a magazine, pretends to be reading it.

50 INT. VENUS’ CAR. DAY

VENUS pulls up alongside OLIVER in his bright red car, parked at the side of the road in the middle of nowhere; unlit cigarette dangling from his mouth.

VENUS
You OK?

OLIVER, ever so polite, speaks with an American accent.

OLIVER
Fine thank you mam.

VENUS notices that he is holding the magazine upside down, nods. She is about to drive off when she notices that the glossy magazine OLIVER is reading upside down has I HAD BILL CLINTON’S LOVE CHILD on the cover.

VENUS smiles to herself as she drives off.

51 INT/EXT. PHYLLIS’ HOUSE. DAY

VENUS approaches her mother’s run-down fibro house, pulls up behind a large van with DEBT CONSOLIDATION  written on it – into which the same three MEN IN BLUE OVERALLS seen earlier load a lounge suite, dining table and other household goods.

As VENUS walks up she becomes aware of a shiny brand new green truck parked closeby. Taking out her wallet, VENUS walks up to one of the MEN IN BLUE OVERALLS.

VENUS
How much this time, Roger?

ROGER
G’day Rhonda...Venus. Five hundred bucks. Sorry to…

VENUS, tight lipped, holds up her hand to deter ROGER from explaining; opens her wallet.

52 INT. PHYLLIS’ HOUSE. DAY

As VENUS strides in through the front door she is greeted by MRS SMITH – trying to control a brood of feral children running wild. In the background the THREE MEN IN BLUE OVERALLS can be seen unloading the lounge suite etc. and carrying it back to the house.

A TV set is on in the room (news) - the volume turned down.

VENUS
Who are you?

MRS SMITH
Mary Smith. (A BEAT) The Lord sent us.

MARY, 15 now, walks in and greets VENUS with a hug.

MARY
Mrs. Smith got a message from God that a woman called Phyllis would help the family in its time of need.

MR SMITH walks in, arm in arm, with Venus’ mum, PHYLLIS. 

VENUS
Jesus! With a new truck?

MARY nods, raises her eyebrows.

MR. SMITH
Praise the Lord! 

PHYLLIS smiles beatifically, kisses VENUS on the cheek.

PHYLLIS
Hello Rhonda darling.

VENUS (exasperated)
Jesus, mum! What happened the last time God sent someone to you in their time of need?

PHYLLIS
When the Good Lord tells me to turn a blind eye to the poor and needy I’ll…

VENUS’ attention is caught by an item on the TV news. As she moves to turn the volume up:

VENUS
You almost lost your house!

On the TV screen:

A bald politician (recognizable as ’Big Tony’) stands in front of a large placard which reads FAMILY FOREMOST. The caption identifies him as 'Tony Babbit':

BIG TONY (onscreen)
The mainstay of a healthy community has always been and must remain, the family and I pledge that as your member…

A sedan pulls up in the street.

PHYLLIS
Oh, look, the man from the Bank…Mr. Phillips. Such a lovely man.

MR PHILLIPS walks in. PHYLLIS greets him with a beatific smile.

53 EXT. PHYLLIS’ HOUSE. DAY

MR PHILLIPS, wearing a cheap pitch black toupee over his greying hair, beams an unctuous smile at PHYLLIS and VENUS.

VENUS
Five thousand dollars? By the end of the week!?

MR PHILLIPS (nods)
The last thing the bank wants to do, of course, Phyllis, is repossess your house, but…

PHYLLIS smiles beatifically.

PHYLLIS
I understand, Mr Phillips, but you don’t need to worry because the Lord will provide…

PHYLLIS turns to VENUS with a happy smile. VENUS humours her mother with a smile as she shakes her head.

54 EXT. PHYLLIS’ HOUSE. DAY

VENUS has opened the door to her sedan, turned to talk with her mother offscreen:

VENUS
Mum, the next time someone turns up and tells you God sent them...

PHYLLIS, with ‘Serpent’ the python hanging around her neck, smiles, nods, waits for VENUS to continue.

VENUS
Tell them God has given them the wrong address.

55 INT. VENUS’ CAR. DAY

VENUS drives, pink mobile at her ear.

VENUS
I need $5,000 for the ‘Big Tony’ tape Terence.

TERENCE (telephone)
No can do, sweetheart. Yesterday it was $4,000.

VENUS
Yes, but it is my prerogative as a woman to change my mind.

TERENCE (telephone)
$4,000 max.

VENUS
I need $5,000. Seller’s market, Terence.

56 INT. STRIP CLUB. FETISHES

TERENCE talks on his mobile:

VENUS (telephone)
Got an hour to give me a yea or a nay...

The line breaks up.

TERENCE
Tell ya what, Venus, how about $4,500 and you throw in one of your famous python dances? Hello...hello!

The line has gone dead.

57 INT. VENUS’ CAR. DAY

VENUS
You there, Terence? (A BEAT) Hello...

VENUS hangs up, throws her pink mobile into a black carry bag on the passenger seat, looks at her hand. It shakes badly.

58 EXT. OUTBACK AUSTRALIA. LATE AFTERNOON
JOSIE, still in her PARTY ANIMAL t-shirt, carrying her red suitcase, wearing her small backpack, and with her black carry bag hanging around her neck, sits on the back of Brandon's motor-bike.

BRANDON 
She's my ex…I promise…Babe? Ex. E...X

JOSIE feels too miserable to respond as the motor bike speeds through a dry desert landscape.

A yellow sedan pull alongside as it prepares to overtake Brandon's motor bike.

The driver, VENUS, wearing her Sydney Harbour Bridge shaped  sunglasses, holds her slim pink mobile phone to her ear. 

59 EXT/INT. VENUS' CAR. LATE AFTERNOON

As BRANDON and JOSIE disappear from view, VENUS talks on her mobile. The news, on her car radio is turned down low. 

VENUS
Hello Terence...Terence! It's Venus...if you’re good for the five grand, right? I’ll be in Sydney on Friday... 

TERENCE'S VOICE
Didn’t catch that, Venus! Hello…

The line is breaking up.

VENUS
Hello, hello…Terence? Shit!

VENUS puts the phone in the black shoulder bag on the seat beside her;  unscrews the cap of a bottle of pills; tips it upside down. It is empty.

VENUS
Merde!

VENUS turns up the radio volume.

ANNOUNCER
Pentagon officials would neither confirm nor deny reports that a computer hacker from Australia had accessed top secret files…

60 EXT. ROADHOUSE. LATE AFTERNOON

A Roadhouse at a desert crossroads. VENUS pulls up in the yellow sedan at the gas pump as passengers file onto a passenger bus.

She clamps her small fold-up satellite receiver to the roof rack, connects it to her laptop computer, sits in the passenger seat - her laptop computer resting on her lap, boots up her computer.

Various icons appear - one of them the Home Page for THE PENTAGON.

As the bus begins to pull out onto the highway and as BRANDON and JOSIE approach on the motor-bike, VENUS, deep in thought, flips the lid of her computer shut.

From the back of Brandon's motor bike, as it pulls up close to the Roadhouse, JOSIE watches forlornly as the bus drives past them.

JOSIE
My bus!

JOSIE wipes tears from her eyes, puts on her sunglasses.

Her hands shaking, VENUS replaces the petrol nozzle in its holder, opens the passenger door of her car, rummages around in her black bag - extracts a hand full of credit cards. She flicks through them until she finds the one she wants.  JOSIE and BRANDON can be seen arguing in the background.

61 INT. ROADHOUSE. LATE AFTERNOON

As she processes VENUS’ credit card, the PROPRIETOR can’t take her eyes off her Sydney Harbour Bridge sunglasses and shaking hands.

62 EXT. ROADHOUSE. LATE AFTERNOON

VENUS walks to the yellow sedan parked alongside BRANDON - who sits astride his motor-bike. JOSIE, carrying her red suitcase, wearing her small backpack and with her black carry bag around her neck, stands close-by.

JOSIE
You knew how important being mentored by Amaroo is to me!?

BRANDON 
And you know how important my Harley is to me…I mean…

JOSIE puts on her sunglasses, walks towards the road.

BRANDON 
Babe! I didn't mean that…I'm sorry!

JOSIE sticks her thumb out; hitching. BRANDON calls out:

BRANDON 
Who's going to pick you up out here?

63 EXT. UP THE ROAD FROM ROADHOUSE. DAY

VENUS drives towards pink-haired JOSIE - standing at the side of the road, thumb outstretched: hitching.

JOSIE has her red suitcase suitcase and a small backpack alongside her and a black carry bag slung around her neck.

VENUS pulls up, looks over the top of her Sydney Harbour Bridge sunglasses at:

JOSIE, wearing ‘conventional’ sunglasses, cut off shorts and a pale blue t-shirt with PARTY ANIMAL written on it. There are two sticky wet dark blue patches around her breasts.

VENUS
You got any pills?

JOSIE
Pills!?

VENUS
Uppers...downers...whatever...?

JOSIE shakes her head; looks at VENUS’ shaking hands.

VENUS hides her hands, looks at the sticky wet patches around Josie’s breasts. JOSIE looks down, smiles self-consciously.

JOSIE
Don’t ask.

VENUS
No pills?

JOSIE shakes her head.

JOSIE
Sorry.

VENUS
Hop in.

64 INT. VENUS’ CAR. DAY

VENUS drives through the desert. JOSIE, in the passenger seat, has her black carry bag resting on her lap.

JOSIE
Thank you so much.

VENUS looks over the top of her sunglasses at JOSIE; puzzled.

VENUS
Take them off.

JOSIE takes her sunglasses off. 

VENUS
Jesus H Christ!

VENUS removes her own sunglasses. JOSIE exclaims:

JOSIE
Holy frigging Moley!

VENUS and JOSIE could be twins and they both recognize this in an instant. They are both gobsmacked.

JOSIE
No way!

VENUS
What the...! How did you...!? Who the fuck are you?

JOSIE
I don’t know.

VENUS
You don’t know!

JOSIE
Sorry, I mean, My name’s Josie but I...

VENUS
This is weird. Too weird! Why are you...!? Our here! In the middle of fucking nowhere...!?

JOSIE
I’m trying to find out who I am. (A BEAT) I mean...

VENUS
So, where are you going?

JOSIE
Haven’t got the foggiest idea. I mean...

VENUS shakes her head, looks at her own shaking hands.

VENUS
You don’t know who you are, you don’t know where you’re going!?

JOSIE
No. I mean yes I don’t know...

VENUS
And you don’t have any pills?

JOSIE shakes her head.

VENUS
And you’re a Pom?

JOSIE
Born and bred. First April 1979.

VENUS
Holy fuck! You’ve got to be kidding. My birthday. Same day!

JOSIE
No way.

VENUS and JOSIE stare at each other; gobsmacked.

JOSIE
What do you think it means? Us looking like sisters…maybe twins even?

VENUS
Why does it have to mean anything?

JOSIE
Everything means something.

VENUS
No, nothing means anything.

JOSIE
Oh. You don't believe in Fate? Destiny?

65 INT. OLIVER'S CAR. OUTBACK ROAD. LATE AFTERNOON

OLIVER is parked in the shade of a tree in an otherwise vast treeless landscape. From the recording device on the seat beside him he hears muffled voices:

VENUS’ VOICE
No. I don't believe in anything.

JOSIE’S VOICE
Not even…

66 INT VENUS' CAR. LATE AFTERNOON

JOSIE
…that God put us on this wonderful planet for a purpose!?

VENUS
Wonderful! You’ve got to be kidding! (A BEAT) I don't believe in anything and especially not God.

JOSIE
Oh! But if there is no God…

VENUS
Law of the jungle, sweetheart. What’s your name?

JOSIE
Josie. And you?

VENUS
Venus Aphrodite.

JOSIE
Oh!

VENUS
That's all there is. A fucking jungle. Survival of the fittest. You want something, you go after it. You don't let anything or anyone stand in your way.

The thin sound of Stevie Wonder’s “I just called to say I love you” is heard. JOSIE takes her blue mobile phone out of her black carry bag, looks at the LCD screen: Mum

JOSIE
Excuse me...

JOSEPHINE SENIOR (telephone)
Daaaarling, I had a call this morning from the Royal Shakespeare. They want you. Badly...

JOSIE holds the phone away from her; grimaces.

JOSEPHINE SENIOR (telephone)
...To play Ophelia! Ophelia, darling. This is the opportunity of a lifetime...

VENUS can’t help but smile.

JOSEPHINE SENIOR (telephone)
...To appear onstage with the luminaries of the Royal Shakespeare…

VENUS grabs the phone from JOSIE, mimics Josie’s plummy English accent.

VENUS
Line’s breaking up, mum. Sorry.

VENUS hangs up, grins at JOSIE. JOSIE laughs.

A LITTLE LATER

VENUS drives fast through the desert.

VENUS
If ya hate acting that much, why are ya want to go back and be in that Royal Shakespeare thingo?

JOSIE
My tourist visa expires at the end of the week and...well, it's very difficult to say 'no' to my mother.

VENUS
Tell me about it.

They drive on in silence for a moment. The sound of “I just called to say I love you” again.

JOSIE
My mother!

JOSIE is in two minds about talking to her mother. VENUS grabs the blue mobile from her, speaks in an English accent.

VENUS
Mum, has it ever occurred to you that I might not want to be an actress?

JOSIE grimaces. Josephine Senior laughs incredulously.

JOSEPHINE SENIOR (telephone)
Not want! Not want! What on earth...!?

VENUS
That I might have dreams of my own?

JOSIE grabs the phone from VENUS.

JOSIE
Mum...sorry...I didn’t mean that. You’re right...It’s a wonderful opportunity. I’ll be back in London next week. Love you. Bye.

JOSIE hangs up. VENUS shakes her head in disgust. JOSIE opens her mouth to speak. VENUS holds her hand up to stop her, turns the radio up, switches stations a couple of times before stopping on a news report.

BILL CLINTON’S VOICE
I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky.

JOSIE
Liar.

VENUS
All men are liars.

JOSIE does not agree but thinks better of voicing her dissent.

VENUS looks over the top of her sunglasses at JOSIE, down to the dark blue wet sticky patches around her breasts.

VENUS
And the...?

JOSIE (sheepish)
Maple syrup.

VENUS
Maple syrup!?  How the fuck didja get maple syrup all over ya boobs?

JOSIE
Well, you see...um...Brandon...the boyfriend...poured it on me and…

VENUS
Asshole!

JOSIE
No, he was going to lick it off…

VENUS
Lick it off!

VENUS looks at JOSIE incredulously. 

JOSIE
Haven't you ever had a man…you know, use his tongue to…you know…?

VENUS
Yech, no way! Any guy that tried to pull a stunt like that on me would be in deep shit!

JOSIE
Oh!

VENUS
I don't have a very high opinion of men. Assholes the lot of them!

JOSIE
Oh! I love men, but…!

VENUS
But?

JOSIE
Oh, I don't know…(sighs) You know that feeling when you meet a guy and he's charming and everything and has a lovely smile but you have no intention of, you know, sleeping with him or anything…and then he looks into your eyes and kisses you beautifully and before you know it…

             JOSIE                                             VENUS
      You're in love…                             He's getting his rocks off…

VENUS
I'd rather kiss a snake.

JOSIE
Oh! I cant think of anything worse than kissing a snake! I've got a phobia about snakes.

VENUS
So, ya boyfriend pours maple syrup on ya tits and ya decide to go hitchhiking but ya don’t know where to!? 

67 INT. OLIVER’S CAR. OUTBACK ROAD. DAY

OLIVER, an unlit cigarette dangling from his mouth, drives along a dusty desert road.

From the recording device on the seat beside him can be heard crackling static. Annoyed, OLIVER fiddles with knobs on the recording device. A few words of Venus and Josie talking can be heard between crackles.

JOSIE
...need different visa...

VENUS
...different boyfriend...

JOSIE
...if I’m deported...

Also on the seat is his laptop computer – on the screen of which can be seen a red flashing dot moving across an aerial map of the terrain Oliver is driving through.

68 EXT. OUTBACK AUSTRALIA. LATE AFTERNOON

Through an extremely wide angle lens, a red dusty road unfolds in the dry desert landscape.  This is the POV of:

A large Prentie (lizard) peering out through the wire mesh of a makeshift wire cage strapped to a platform welded to a bicycle frame in front of the handle bars.
The bare-chested 28 year old man on the bicycle, NOTCH, his long hair tied in a bun on top of his head, has ‘bush eccentric’ written all over him. He hums ‘Waltzing Matilda’ to himself as he rides – clearly in no hurry to get anywhere.

Hanging alongside the rear wheel of Notch’s bicycle are two large leather panniers.

NOTCH’S humming is gradually drowned out by the sound of a truck driving towards him – with THUNDER DOWNUNDER written in large letters across the front. It bear down on him fast; roars past. NOTCH is lost in a cloud of dust.

NOTCH rides his bicycle out of the cloud of dust – covered in a layer of it but still humming Waltzing Matilda as though nothing untoward had happened.

69 INT. VENUS’ CAR. OUTBACK ROAD. LATE AFTERNOON

JOSIE talks as VENUS drives.

JOSIE
...a disaster! So, unless I can come up with $5000 in the next few days I’m going to be deported.

VENUS
Wotchya gunna do about it?

JOSIE (shrugs)
There’s nothing I can do.

VENUS
There’s always something you can do. Where there’s a will there’s a way.

JOSIE nods, bites her lip, sees the large THUNDER DOWNUNDER truck heading towards them - occupying the entire width of the road. Her eyes widen in fear. She turns to VENUS.

JOSIE
Shouldn’t you, like, move over…

VENUS ignores JOSIE, smiles, puts her foot on the accelerator, moves to the middle of the road. Chicken!

VENUS (sotto voce)
You don’t scare me one little bit mate!

JOSIE is scared shitless, however. The truck is only 50 metres away now, closing in fast. 

JOSIE screams as a head-on collision seems imminent. VENUS laughs. The truck is almost on them when its driver pulls over into the gravel and roars past.

VENUS laughs triumphantly as her car disappears into a cloud of dust as gravel hits the windscreen.

JOSIE’s terror does not diminish as VENUS continues to drive fast into the dust cloud - visibility zero. After a few moments the dust thins.  JOSIE relaxes a little.

JOSIE
What would you do…if you needed money…a lot of money…fast?

VENUS
Whatever it takes. If you want something bad enough, babe, you do whatever it takes. Take no prisoners!

JOSIE nods, bites her lip, wishes she had VENUS’ courage.

NOTCH, on his bicycle, appears up ahead, riding in the middle of the road. 

As VENUS closes in on him she honks her horn to get NOTCH to move over. He ignores her. VENUS slow down, puts her hand on the horn and leaves it there.

NOTCH raises his right hand - index finger extended in response to VENUS’ impatience.

JOSIE, enjoying this battle of wills, reaches into her black carry bag and extracts her yellow cardboard box camera.

VENUS drives up so close behind NOTCH that she almost hits him. She then passes - only inches from him. NOTCH responds by again raising his index finger.

JOSIE lifts her yellow cardboard camera and prepares to take a photo.

NOTCH, his face covered in a film of dust, turns and smiles for the camera, extending his raised finger as close to the lens as he can. Click.

JOSIE laughs, looks back at VENUS – scowling as she watches NOTCH grow smaller in the rear-vision mirror. 

VENUS
Asshole!

JOSIE mimics VENUS’ scowl. VENUS raises her left index finger. JOSIE lifts the yellow cardboard camera and takes a photo. Click.

VENUS grabs Josie’s camera, throws it out the window.

JOSIE
Hey! What the…That’s got…

VENUS
No one takes my photo, right! No-one.

JOSIE
Stop! I want my camera. It’s...

VENUS
Gone. Finito. Kaput.

JOSIE stares at VENUS angrily.

JOSIE
Mad bitch! 

VENUS
What did you say?

JOSIE
Mad bitch. As in…stark raving…

VENUS puts her foot on the brake. 

VENUS
Out.

JOSIE
But… 

VENUS
Out.

70 EXT. OUTBACK AUSTRALIA. DESERTED ROAD. LATE AFTERNOON

The passenger door opens. JOSIE is forcefully ejected from the sedan into the red dust, clutching her small backpack.

JOSIE (shouts)
Venus! What the…!

JOSIE leaps to her feet, watches in horror as Venus’ yellow sedan speeds off towards the setting sun.

50 meters up the road Josie’s red suitcase is pushed out. It hits the road; bursts open. Coloured garments fly everywhere.

JOSIE
No!

As JOSIE runs up the road towards her red suitcase a black object thrown from the driver’s window Venus’ car.

50 meters up the road JOSIE approaches the black carry bag lying in the red dust. 
As JOSIE picks it up the black carry bag she catches sight of a small snake slithering away from her.

JOSIE, wide eyed with fear, stands in the middle of the road, holding the black carry bag at shoulder height in case she needs it to fight off a snake attack.

The sound of Mendelssohn’s Wedding March intrudes. JOSIE reacts with shock.

JOSIE
What the…!?

When she realizes that the music is coming from the black carry bag she opens it, looks inside; reacts with shock.

JOSIE
Holy fucking moley!

She extracts Venus’ pink mobile phone; presses the ‘answer’ icon. It is a bad line.

JOSIE
Hello!

TERENCE’S VOICE
OK, OK, you win, Venus!

The line is breaking up.

JOSIE
Sorry, this is Venus’ phone but I’m not Venus. I’m Josie..

TERENCE’S VOICE
Didn’t catch that, sweetheart, but I’ve got five grand waiting for you in Sydney and I’ve lined up...

The line breaks up again.

JOSIE
... Hello... hello…

The line is dead. JOSIE exclaims.

JOSIE
Five grand!

A lizard runs across the road, close to her. JOSIE screams, drops the pink mobile phone, runs up the road.

When the coast is clear (no snakes or lizards in sight) JOSIE picks up the phone tentatively, sits on the road alongside Venus’s black bag, opens it; extracting:

Two wigs (brunette and red), a pair of outsized pink-rimmed heart-shaped ‘Lolita’ sunglasses, several passports and...

A blue plastic VHS case with BIG TONY written under a photo of a bald man standing at a lectern. Behind ‘Big Tony’ is a poster of his smiling bald self with FAMILY FOREMOST written in large letters. Clearly a politician.

Venus’ pink mobile starts ringing again. JOSIE picks it up, eventually presses the ‘answer’ icon.

TERENCE’S VOICE
Venus! Terence here. You there?

JOSIE
Yes, but...

TERENCE’S VOICE
You drive a hard bargain, sweetheart! I just hope the Big Tony tape’s worth five grand! 

The line is breaking up.

JOSIE
Five grand!…Hello…hello…

The line cuts out. JOSIE looks closely at the blue VHS with ‘BIG TONY’ written on it.

JOSIE
Five grand!

JOSIE pulls from the black carry bag a handful of credit cards with different names. And then:

A worn manila folder that she opens to discover:

Lots of newspaper clippings. Her attention focuses on a glossy‘ HOT GOSSIP’ magazine cover with:

A photo of a young woman and a baby and the banner headline: I HAD BILL CLINTON’S LOVE CHILD. The byline: Mystery Clinton lover’s bombshell paternity claims…

JOSIE looks into the setting sun; puts on Venus’ ‘Lolita’ sunglasses to protect her from the glare. 

71 EXT. ROAD. LATE AFTERNOON

As he rides his bicycle NOTCH’S attention is caught by a yellow object at the side of the road. He stops, leans over and picks it up. It is Josie’s yellow cardboard box camera. He slips it into one of the many pockets in his baggy khaki shorts and continues on his way, humming ‘Waltzing Matilda’ to himself.

NOTCH pulls up alongside Josie’s suitcase and the assortment of her colourful and imaginatively designed clothes.

He registers the small figure of JOSIE in the distance, sitting in the middle of the road, her back to him.

72 EXT. ROAD. DAY

JOSIE, wearing Venus’ ‘Lolita’ sunglasses punches numbers into the pink mobile, holds it to her ear, speaks in a broad Australian accent - sounding just like Venus.

JOSIE
Sorry, Terence. Bad reception. Yeah, I’ve got the ‘Big Tony’ tape and…five grand ay?

TERENCE (telephone)
How soon can you…

The line goes dead.

JOSIE
…hello, hello…

NOTCH (voice off)
G'day.

JOSIE as she leaps to her feet in shock, spins around to see:

NOTCH, covered in dust, unshaven, hair tied in a knot on the top of his head, wearing on the otherwise naked upper half of his body a multi-coloured bustier encrusted with beads and tiny mirrors that sparkle in the afternoon sun.

JOSIE (splutters)
It's not a good day. It's a frigging dreadful day.

NOTCH'S eyes lower. He gets only the briefest of glimpses of the slender pink mobile phone resting on JOSIE’S lap (at an unfortunate angle!) before she slips it back into her bag.

NOTCH (grins)
That what I think it is?

JOSIE
No.

NOTCH
Whaddya think I think it is?

JOSIE has turned bright red. Indicating the bustier on NOTCH.

JOSIE
That's my bustier.

NOTCH
Yeah, thought as much. Reckon it'd look better on you than me. So where ya headed?

JOSIE
You offering me a ride!?

NOTCH
Depends where ya going, mate.

JOSIE
Please don't call me mate! (A BEAT) Don't know where I'm going.

NOTCH
Well, if ya don't know where ya going', mate, there's a good chance you're already there.

JOSIE
You a philosopher or something, mate?

NOTCH
Blind man in a dark room looking for a black hat that isn't there, ay? (A BEAT) Wanna ride…mate?

JOSIE looks at the cluttered bicycle, wondering where on earth she could possibly sit.

JOSIE
You've got to be kidding!

NOTCH grins.

…to be continued…

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