Sunday, December 2, 2012


...continuing on from SHIPS IN THE NIGHT # 4


MATT drives into the parking lot of a fast food outlet, ‘Gluttons’. He drives past a large smiling Buddha-like figure with a huge hamburger in one hand and an equally huge ice cream in the other.


MATT pulls up in the parking lot, gets out, looks towards the entrance – around which young MEN and WOMEN are gathered eating hamburgers etc. He is looking for someone. Tracy’s mobile rings. He takes it out, looks at the screen: unknown caller. It is Serena. She laughs. 

SERENA’S VOICE So who’s a cradle snatcher, then?

MATT grimaces, glances at his watch.

MATT Shit! Sorry. There’s been…

MATT and SERENA talk over the top of each other.

SERENA’S VOICE Sounds like she’s about 13!

MATT She called you…!?

SERENA’S VOICE No, I called you…stupid enough to believe…

MATT Sorry, I should have called and…

SERENA’S VOICE …that 45 minutes might actually mean 45 minutes and…

MATT …if you’ll just calm down for a sec.

There is an incoming call on Tracy’s mobile.

SERENA’S VOICE Okay, I’m calm. Totally calm. Explain! How’s your hand? Were you in a fight?

MATT looks at the screen: mum

MATT Serena, sweetheart, just gotta put you on hold for a moment and…

SERENA’S VOICE Don’t ‘sweetheart’ me, Matt. I’m…

MATT I’m putting you on hold, okay?


MATT presses the appropriate key. Tracy’s mother’s voice is heard – angry and worried at the one time.

MERILY’S VOICE Darling, have you any idea what time it is? 

MATT Hi Merily, this is not…

MERILY’S VOICE Who is this? 

MATT My name’s Matt, Merily. I’m a taxi driver…

MERILY’S VOICE How do you know my name’s Merily?

A taxi pulls up close to the entrance to GLUTTONS.

MATT Tracy told me.


MATT Your daughter.

BLUE gets out of the taxi.

MERILY’S VOICE Tracy! My daughter’s name’s Britney.

BLUE walks quickly in through the entrance to GLUTTONS.

MERILY’S VOICE Did she tell you it was Tracy? 

MATT tries to remember where he has seen BLUE before.

MERILY’S VOICE Hello, hello, have you got Brit with you?

MATT She’s OK, Merily. She left her mobile in my cab and I’m meeting her in five minutes to give it back to her. Then I’ll drive her home, okay?


MATT I’ve got another call on hold Merily, so…I’ll call you right back in…?

MERILY’S VOICE No, I want you to…

MATT presses ‘call waiting’, cuts her off.

MATT Serena, you there…

Silence. MATT tries, without success, to access ‘call waiting’. Tracy’s distinctive mobile ring is heard: unknown caller: MATT presses the appropriate icon.

TRACY’S VOICE Hey, Matt…I’m running a bit late. Something came up. Sorry for schitzing out on you like that. Like a cut snake, ay! It’s just…something happened yesterday that grossed me out big time… (A BEAT) I guess you don’t really want to know about it, ay?

MATT I just want to get my mobile back and go home…

TRACY’S VOICE Serena’s pissed off, ay? 

MATT Yes, and she’s going to be more pissed off if I don’t get to her place soon. 

TRACY’S VOICE It’s not what you think, I don’t think.

MATT What’s not?

TRACY’S VOICE What Serena’s pissed off about.

MATT I need to get Juliet’s phone number from you. Now.

TRACY Did you hear what I just said?

MATT Yes, but…just give me Juliet’s phone number will you?

TRACY’S VOICE No worries, I’ll just put you on hold. Hang on a tick. ‘Big Brute.’

Tracy’s laughter is heard. MATT, embarrassed, shakes his head.

MATT She told you that!?

TRACY’S VOICE Yeah, but she didn’t tell me if the ‘big’ part of it refers to your size…or your…rooster ?

MATT Juliet’s phone number! 

TRACY’S VOICE Hey, Juliet’s cool and…You didn’t tell me you were captain of the Roosters…Hang on.

TRACY has put MATT on hold. He is trying to make sense of what Tracy has just said. She comes back online.

TRACY’S VOICE It’s none of my business, Matt, but you really should know your own daughter’s phone number. You got a pen?

As he takes a ball point pen from his pocket:

MATT Hang on, Tracy, how do you know Juliet is ‘cool’?

TRACY’S VOICE I just talked to her on the phone. And she sent me that photo of you. Hey, you were good looking when you were young.

MATT Photo? What photo? What did you talk about?

TRACY’S VOICE Just girl stuff. Hey, and Serena’s a real character too, ay? A woman with balls. The number is…

MATT What did you and Serena…?

TRACY’S VOICE You want Jules’ number or what? Big Brute?

MATT Okay, fire away.

MATT readies the pen to write it on the back of his hand.

MATT Incidentally, your mother called.

TRACY’S VOICE My mother called you?

MATT No, she called you…Worried. You should call her and let her know you’re OK. 

TRACY’S VOICE You didn’t talk to her, did you? What did you talk about?

MATT Just parent stuff.(A BEAT) Britney!?

There is a long moment of silence.

MATT Tracy…Britney…(A BEAT) Hello…

TRACY’S VOICE She is such a bitch. I am going to call her. Fuck her!

TRACY hangs up. MATT is left standing, pen in hand, hovering above his wrist. He presses the appropriate icon on the mobile, hears his own voice:

MATT’S VOICE Matt’s voice here. Not to be mistaken for…

He hangs up, makes another call, gets Serena’s message bank.

SERENA’S VOICE ‘Serena here, but I’m not here, but if you leave…’

MATT terminates the call. His attention is caught by BLUE emerging from GLUTTONS, hamburger in hand. It occurs to MATT where he has seen Blue before. He looks at the screen of Tracy’s mobile. He is not sure how to navigate the menu but eventually finds what he is looking for. Onscreen:

BLUE, his hands joined to conceal his genitals. The frozen image comes to life.


He opens his arms wide, revealing a codpiece in the shape of an elephant’s head – replete with big ears and, of course, a trunk!

Love you heaps!

BLUE grins, begins to recite:

Now I have you
And you have me
Our troubles all
Are gone you see.

MATT looks from the mobile screen to where BLUE, 20 feet away, eats his hamburger. MATT looks back at the mobile screen:

Love it was
from the start
we’ll be together
Till death we part.

BLUE grins again.

Love you, babe.

MATT, puzzled, is in the process of joining the dots when he notices GBH’s purple ‘pimped out’ car, seen in the opening sequence, pulling off the main road, into GLUTTONS.

MATT looks back to where BLUE was standing at the entrance but he is no longer there. He looks around, sees BLUE hiding behind the big Buddha like figure – peering furtively at:

The purple sedan pulling up outside the fast food restaurant entrance. GBH gets out of the car, scans the inside of GLUTTONS (through the windows) and the parking lot looking for someone. MATT shakes his head, can’t help but smile. He punches numbers into his mobile. Serena answers.

SERENA’S VOICE I wonder who is calling at this hour?

MATT Sorry, I don’t know what happened there. You know me and mobiles.

SERENA’S VOICE Oh, the Brute! 

MATT You told Tracy?

SERENA’S VOICE I was pissed off! It slipped out.

MATT looks back at BLUE, whose hand is now cupped over the mouthpiece of his mobile phone, talking urgently and with his eyes on GBH. BLUE hangs up, disappears from view.

MATT I’ll be there in twenty, OK?

SERENA’S VOICE Yeah, right!

Tracy’s mobile announces an incoming calls.

MATT Thirty, max.

SERENA’S VOICE That’ll be your 13 year old. 

MATT Promise.

SERENA’S VOICE If I had a dollar for every time… 

MATT Hey, I don’t have much choice here…

SERENA’S VOICE No, you’ve chosen not to have any choice.

MATT Hey, I’m not one of your clients…

SERENA’S VOICE What are you, Matt?

MATT This is not the best time to have this conversation?

SERENA’S VOICE No, of course not! See you when I see you. Christmas maybe!

Serena hangs up. MATT takes the new call. TRACY in a panic:

TRACY’S VOICE Matt, can you give Blue a ride?

MATT Who’s Blue? The guy with red hair!?

TRACY’S VOICE Yeah. It’s kinda urgent…

MATT No. Tracy, fuck! I just want my phone back.

TRACY’S VOICE He’s gunna get the shit beaten out of him…

MATT ‘s patience has totally run out.

MATT Not my problem. I need Juliet’s phone number. Now, Tracy!

MATT hears a low whistle and then a loud whisper.

BLUE (off screen) Hey Matt…

MATT looks around. BLUE is crouched by the passenger door of his cab, beckoning him.

MATT What the…!

BLUE opens the door from a crouching position and slides into the passenger seat, his head down, out of view. MATT forgets about Tracy, lowers the phone.


MATT moves fast to his cab, opens the passenger door.


BLUE, 17, his face covered with freckles, tries to smile.

BLUE I’m Blue. Tracy’s Blue. She said…

MATT Don’t give a fuck whose Blue you are! Out!


MATT I’m not your fucking bro, Blue! Out!

MATT has lost it. His eyes are blazing.

MATT Get the fuck out of my cab! Now!

BLUE gets out reluctantly. MATT walks around to the driver’s side, opens the door, drops into the seat, slams the door behind him – drawing the attention of GBH and his TWO MATES.


Through the cracked windscreen MATT sees GBH (talking on his mobile) and his TWO MATES up by the entrance. They have spotted BLUE and are heading towards him. MATT turns the ignition on, engages the gears, looks from BLUE, frozen in terror, to GBG and his TWO MATES approaching. He mutters under his breath:

MATT Run, ya silly fucker!

GBG and his TWO MATES are just ten meters away when MATT leans over, opens the passenger door and shouts at BLUE.

MATT Get in.

BLUE leaps in. MATT activates the locks. GBH and his TWO MATES are in front of the cab now, blocking MATT’S escape. Standoff!

MATT looks in the rear vision mirror. No escape route behind!

GBH gives instructions to his TWO MATES. They move to the passenger door, try to open it. No luck.

GBH, mobile hand, gestures to MATT that if he unlocks the door, gives up BLUE, GBH will get out of the way; let him drive off.

MATT shakes his head calmly. GBH snarls at MATT, raises his fist aggressively. MATT puts a lot of effort into not responding but the temptation is too great. He eventually flips a bird at GBH, who then recognizes MATT and flies into a rage.

GBH (screams) You’re dead motherfucker!

The TWO MATES at Blue’s window try to force the door open.

BLUE is scared shitless.

MATT revs the engine, gestures to GBH his intention to drive forward; that GBH should get out of the way. 

GBH You slimy fucking thieving weasel piece of shit cunt…

With the clutch pressed down, MATT revs the engine; shouts:

MATT If you don’t get out of the fucking way…

MATT indicates with his fingers: 5-4-3

MATT Five, four, three…

MATT releases the clutch, jolts forward a few feet, bumps GBH backwards. GBH backs off a few feet – his anger ramping up further. He hurls his mobile at MATT. It explodes into fragments as it bounces off the window. GBH is apoplectic now.

GBH’s TWO MATES join him in front of the taxi.

MATT finishes his finger countdown: 2-1, shakes his head (“I warned you!”), puts his foot on the accelerator, drives fast backwards about five meters, shifts gears, drives straight at them. GBH and his TWO MATES leap out of the way.


MATT drives fast out of GLUTTONS, swings onto the main road.

…to be continued…

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